By Jamie Ducharme
Photos: denisesalceda.com, Quick Meme, AskMen.com
The typical college guy couldn’t care less about what he throws on to go to class. But when that behavior starts to spill over into social outings and dates, the ladies in their lives start to take notice. So, guys, to help you keep your girlfriends (and girl friends) happy, we give you the ten looks you should never try.
1. Running sneakers with jeans: Maybe you do a lot of walking. Maybe you’re on the run. Maybe you just want to be comfortable. I don’t know your life, but what I do know is that this is not a cute look. There are tons of comfortable footwear options for guys—boat shoes, non-athletic sneakers, desert boots, loafers, the list goes on—and I guarantee you they all look better with jeans than your beat-up Asics.
2. Total color blindness: Don’t get me wrong, I love color blocking. What I don’t love is a red shirt with a purple tie and an orange belt. Stop it.
3. Graphic t-shirts: A classily done graphic T-shirt can be very attractive, but a too-clever-for-its-own-good or childish one? Not so much. Maybe I would have liked this style as a 12-year-old drawing hearts on her binder in homeroom, but these days, I’m not having it.
4. Timberlands: I know there are girls who like this look, and I admit that on some people, it looks good, but here’s my take: If your Tims are two sizes too big and unlaced halfway, you look clumsy and clunky–not cool. If you absolutely must wear them, just do it in a normal person way.
5. Seasonal inappropriateness: I get it. You want to look manly and hearty and New England-y. But when I see you in shorts and flip-flops in January, I think none of those things—I think you’re severely lacking in intelligence, common sense and possibly sanity.
6. Lax pinneys in real life: I played lacrosse in high school, and I love me a lax pinney—on the field or at the gym, that is. When you start wearing them to class or on the street, we have a problem.
7. Good outfit, bad shoes: This is a pet peeve of mine regardless of gender. If you went to all the trouble of looking nice for a date or co-op or even class, why ruin it with ugly shoes? Look at your whole outfit, head to toe, before leaving the house.
8. Too-short anything: Ties, jeans, sleeves, you name it. Just make sure your clothes fit before you wear them. That’s all we ask.
9. Birkenstocks: I hear Birkenstocks are very comfortable; never having gone near them, I can’t say for sure. Whether they are or not, they’re ugly as sin and look out of place possibly anywhere but Vermont. If you need other comfortable shoe options, refer back to the handy list in the first category.
10. Wife beater as an actual shirt: Just no.